Does Rejection Exist ?

Rejection is an illusion. There's no such thing as failure or rejection.

Let me ask you when you wiped out on your bike, did you feel rejected? Did you take it personally? No! It was simply a result. And it was simply a result you didn't like. So, you got back on the bike and committed yourself to obtaining a better result. You weren't offended that the bike "rejected" you or you experience "failure." You didn't feel "bad" because it was an "experience" and you probably learned from that experience.

"Forget past mistakes. Forget failures. Forget everything
except what you're going to do now and do it." - William James Duran

If someone "rejects" you, and it's seldom personal, just a person making a decision. It could even be a poor decision on their part. If you "fail," it's just a matter of not doing something the way you'd like or the way someone else might like. Most opinions - even your own - are subjective. So, don't let the opinions of others dictate how you think about yourself. Compare yourself only to yourself, and set goals for you and your own fulfillment, not to impress others.

"I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure
is trying to please everybody." - Bill Cosby

A man named Spencer Silver was working to create a super glue or adhesive. After many attempts Mr. Silver developed a new adhesive, but it was really weak instead of super strong. Many of us would have labeled this experience as a "failure" or "rejection" Mr. Silver classified it as a result and stored the data. Then one Sunday four years later, another scientist named Mr. Arthur Fry was singing in the church's choir. He used markers to keep his place in the hymnals, but they kept falling out of the book. Remembering Mr. Silver's, "result" Mr. Fry used some of the super weak adhesive to coat his markers. Success! With the weak adhesive, the markers stayed in place, yet lifted off without damaging the pages. If Mr. Silver had thrown away his "failure" - Post It Notes would not be here today.

If you believe you've failed you may want to ask yourself some questions. What can I learn from this? How does this result help me? Remember each result is just another experience to learn and adjust the bike path. If you don't like your results, change your approach and try for a different result. You might need to fine-tune your skills. Maybe you need to scoot your bike up to the curb when you climb on in order to prevent yourself from falling. Maybe what you need is some help, like a mentor or additional training. Maybe joining a professional organization will give you the contacts and information you need to take that step further. Explore, discover, and research! Find out what you need to do, and repeat, repeat, repeat!

"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." - Thomas A. Edison

What is your definition for rejection? Most people define rejection as not obtaining a goal, examples: "She turned me down for a date." But have you ever decided what your definition of rejection is or how did you develop your term for rejection?

Take a moment and define rejection in a way that supports your life and instantly your life will change. A student of mine, defined rejection has: "I need to start negotiating." Yes, he is in sales.

Once you have created your new definition practice, practice, practice. Remember repetition is the mother of skill.

You were created to succeed. =)

Six Ways of Thinking "Rich"

Rich people have a way of thinking that is different from poor and middle class people. They think differently about money, wealth, themselves, other people, and life. Let’s examine six crucial differences between how rich people think and how poor or middle class people think.By doing so, you will have some alternative beliefs in the files of your mind from which to choose. In this way, you can catch yourself thinking as poor people do and quickly switch over to how rich people think.


Remember, beliefs are not right, wrong, true or false, they're just past opinions which can be changed on your command. The fact is, you can CHOOSE to think in ways that will support you instead of ways that don't.


1. RICH PEOPLE BELIEVE "I CREATE MY LIFE.



"Poor people believe "Life happens to me."If you want to create wealth, it is imperative that you believe that you are at the steering wheel of your life; that you create every moment of your life, especially your financial life. If you don't believe this, then you must believe you have little control over your life and that financial success has nothing to do with you. That is not a very rich attitude.Instead of taking responsibility for what's going on in their lives, poor people choose to play the role of victim. Of course, any "victim's" predominant thought process is "poor me." And presto, through the law of intention that's literally what they get; "poor," as in money, me.Here's some homework I promise will change your life. For the next seven days, I challenge you not to complain at all. Not just out loud, but in your head too. I've given this little challenge to thousands of people and several hundred have personally told me that this exercise completely transformed their lives. I invite you to email me with the results of this experiment. I guarantee you'll be astonished as to how amazing your life will become when you stop focusing on the "crap."It's time to decide. You can be a victim OR you can be rich, but you can't be both. It's time to take back your power and acknowledge the fact that you create every moment of your life. That you create everything that is in your life and everything that is not in it. That you create your wealth and you create your non-wealth and everything in between.



2. RICH PEOPLE PLAY THE MONEY GAME TO WIN



Poor people play the money game not to lose.Poor people play the money game on defense rather than offense. Let me ask you, if you were to play any sport or any game strictly on defense, what are the chances of you winning that game? Most people agree; slim and none.
Yet, that's exactly how most people play the money game. Their primary concern is survival and security, not wealth and abundance. So, what is your goal? What is your real objective? What is your true intention?Rich people's big goal is to have massive wealth and abundance. Poor people's big goal is to have "enough to pay the bills..." on time would be a miracle! Again, let me remind you of the power of intention. When your objective is to have enough to pay the bills, that's exactly how much you'll get; just enough to pay the bills and usually not a cent more. You get what you truly intend to get. If you want to get rich, your goal has to be "rich." Not just enough to pay the bills and not just enough to be comfortable. Rich, darn it, rich!



3. RICH PEOPLE ARE COMMITTED TO BEING RICH



Poor people are uncommitted to being rich.Most of us have good reasons as to why it would be wonderful to be rich, but what about the other side of the coin? Are there reasons why it might not be so great to be rich or go through the process of trying to get rich?Each of us has a file on wealth in our mind. This file contains our personal beliefs that include why being wealthy would be great. But for many people, their file also includes information as to why being rich might not be so great. These people have mixed internal messages around money and especially wealth.One part of them says, "Having more money will make life a lot more fun." But then another part screams, "Yeah, but "I'm going to have to work like a dog! What kind of fun is that?" One part says, "I'll be able to travel the world." then the other part responds, "Yeah, and everyone in the world will want something from me." These mixed messages are one of the biggest reasons that most people never become rich.In fact, the #1 reason most people don't get what they want is they don't know what they want. Rich people are totally clear they want wealth. They are unwavering in their desire. They are fully committed to creating wealth. They will do "whatever it takes" to have wealth as long as it's moral, legal and ethical. Rich people do not send mixed messages to the universe. Poor people do.I hate to break the news to you, but getting rich is not a "stroll in the park." It's takes focus, expertise, 100% effort, and "never say die" perseverance. You have to really commit to it, both consciously and subconsciously. You have to believe in your heart you can do it and you deserve it. If you are not fully committed to creating wealth, chances are you won't.



4. RICH PEOPLE THINK BIG



Poor people think small.We once had a trainer teaching at one of our seminars who went from a net worth of $250 thousand to over $600 million in only 3 years. When asked his secret he said, "Everything changed the day I began to think big." In my book, SpeedWealth, I discuss the "Law of Income" which states that "you will be paid in direct proportion to the value you deliver according to the market place."Another way of understanding this is to answer the following question: How many people do you actually serve or affect?For instance in my business, some trainers enjoy speaking to groups of 20, others are comfortable with 100, others like an audience of 500, still others want 5000 people or more in attendance. Is there is a difference in income between these trainers? You bet there is.Who are you? How do you want to live your life? How do you want to play the game?Do you want to play in the big leagues or in little league, in the majors or the minors?Will you play big or play small? It's your choice.But hear this. It's not about you. It's about living your mission. It's about living true to your purpose. It's about adding your piece of the puzzle to the world. It's about serving others.Most of us are so stuck in our egos that everything revolves around "me, me and more me." But again, it's not about you, it's about adding value to other people's lives. It's your choice. One road leads to being broke and miserable, the other leads to money, meaning, and fulfillment.It's time to stop hiding out and start stepping out. It's time to stop needing and start leading. It's time to start being the star that you are. It's time to share your gifts and value in a BIG way. There could be thousands or even millions of people counting on you. Are you up to the challenge for our society and our children's sake? Let's hope so.



5. RICH PEOPLE ARE BIGGER THAN THEIR PROBLEMS



Poor people are smaller than their problems.Getting rich is not a stroll in the park. It's a journey that is full of obstacles, twists, and detours. The simple fact is, success is messy. The road is fraught with pitfalls and that's why most people don't take it. They don't want the hassles, the headaches and the responsibilities. In short, they don't want the problems.Therein lies one of the biggest differences between rich people and poor people. Rich and successful people are bigger than their problems while poor and unsuccessful people are smaller than their problems.Poor people will do almost anything to avoid anything that looks like it could be a problem. They back away from challenges. The irony is that in their quest to make sure they don't have problems, they have the biggest problem of all... they're broke and miserable.


The secret to success is not to try to avoid or shrink your problems; it's to grow yourself so you're bigger than any problem.Imagine a "level 2" character person looking at a "level 5" problem. Would this problem appear to be big or small? The answer is that from a "level 2" perspective, a "level 5" problem would seem BIG.Now imagine a "level 8" person looking at the same "level 5" problem. From this person's perspective, is this problem big or small? Magically the identical problem is now a SMALL problem.And for a "level 10" person, it's NO problem at all. It's just an everyday occurrence, like getting dressed or brushing your teeth. Whether you are rich or poor, playing big or playing small, problems do not go away. If you're breathing, you will always have so-called "problems." What's important to realize is that the size of the problem is never the real issue. What matters is the size of you!Remember, your wealth can only grow to the extent that you do! The idea is to grow yourself to a place where you can overcome any problems that get in your way of creating wealth and keeping it once you have it.Rich people do not back away from problems, do not avoid problems and do not complain about problems. Rich people are financial warriors and when a warrior is confronted with a challenge they shout: BRING IT ON!



6. RICH PEOPLE FOCUS ON OPPORTUNITIES



Poor people focus on problems.Rich people see potential growth. Poor people see potential loss.Rich people focus on the rewards. Poor people focus on the risks.It's the age-old question, is the glass half empty or half full? We're not merely talking about "positive thinking" here, we're talking about a habitual way of seeing the world. Poor people come from fear. Their minds are constantly scanning for what's wrong or what could go wrong in any situation. Their primary mindset is "What if it doesn't work?" or, more bluntly, "It won't work." Rich people, as we discussed earlier, take responsibility for creating their life and come from the mindset, "It will work because I'll make it work."In the financial world, as in most other arenas, risk is directly proportionate to reward; generally, the higher the reward, the higher the risk. People with rich mentalities are willing to take that risk.Rich people expect to succeed. They have confidence in their abilities, they have confidence in their creativity and they believe that should the "doo-doo hit the fan", they can always make their money back or succeed in another way.On the other hand, poor people expect to fail. They lack confidence in themselves and in their abilities, and should things not work out, they believe it would be catastrophic.


You have to do something, buy something, or start something in order to succeed financially. You have to see opportunities for profit all around you instead of focusing on ways of losing money.

3 Things Your Mom Didn't Teach You About Becoming a Confident Woman

Things Your Mom Didn't Teach You About Becoming a Confident Woman

Wouldn't it have been great to grow up knowing you are wonderful and powerful and can be or do or have anything you want?

It took me years of self-assessment, deep inner personal work and reflection to figure these things out for myself.

Don't let it take you years... take my word for it instead. These 3 Things Your Mom Didn't Teach You About Becoming a Confident Woman will go a long way towards your expanding self esteem development and your abundance of life.

Did your Mom tell you?

1. Accept your body, love it, treat it with respect

• You are a living legacy to your ancestors. Your Aunt Elizabeth's dimples, your Great Grandmas thick curly hair, your Mom's beautiful eyes. Respect that. Be proud of who you are and what you have been given as a body/temple.
• Your wellness and physical health will follow naturally when you cultivate an attitude of body/self respect. Your nutrition, activity and lifestyle choices are indicators of your level of self-respect.

2. Your thoughts/opinions have value, share them with the world

• Many of us were told that children were to be seen and not heard, that is ok to a point; but someone needed to get around to asking for our thoughts, encouraging our critical thinking skills and congratulating us on our unique opinions.
• You are unique and unrepeatable. No one else in the whole world can assimilate information exactly the way you can. Your opinions do matter, the universe will benefit when you share the best of yourself. Have courage, share who you are.

3. Dream big and spend lots of time talking about it

• The Law of Attraction states that you get what you focus on whether you want it or not. If you are focused on problems, complaints, lack, you will attract more of that.... it follows that if you focus on your dreams and what makes you happy you will attract more of that.
• Talking about issues whether positive or negative is an invitation to the universe to send more of the same. Be careful what you are talking about. Stop complaining about anything and start fantasizing about your dreams.

You can spot a confident woman just by the way she walks into a room. She exudes personal power and self-respect.

• Whether she is 'pretty' or not is irrelevant, she knows she is a beautiful woman because all women are beautiful when they affirm they are.
• She is proud of her ancestry, she represents all those who walked before her.
• She knows what she knows and has the courage to stand up and be counted for what she believes in.
• She radiates self-assurance. People are attracted to this woman.

This woman can be and should be you. Don't let it take you years to claim and own your power. Start today to share the gift of who you are with the world.

Unleash the power within. Become the woman you were created to be.

Are Men More Romantic ??

Men Are More Romantic ??

Men are the more romantic of the sexes. Don't believe me? According to Leil Lowndes, author of How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You, men fall in love faster (20 percent by the fourth date), are more idealistic about love, are less likely to initiate a breakup, and are three times more likely to commit suicide after a traumatic breakup.

Men may be less likely to remember anniversaries and Valentine's Day, more reticent when it comes to saying "I love you," and stingier when it comes to splashing out on expensive gifts, but they're as soft and mushy inside as anyone when it comes to the importance of love in their lives. It's just that they're less likely to talk about it and more embarrassed to show it!

Here's what some ordinary men have to say about what love means to them (source: Men, Love & Sex, David Zinczenko, New York: Rosdale, 2006, p.101).

"We like presents and backrubs, too." --Shaun, 29

"Love is great and men feel it as much as women, but we might be embarrassed to admit it." --Garrett, 27

"Love doesn't need to be talked about in order to be present." --Dom, 38

You can help men along when it comes to commitment and declarations of love with these three Top Tips for helping him recognize how crazy he is for you.

Tip #1. Make It Easy for Him to Declare His Love

I hope that you never get into the situation that my friend Emily found herself in. She dated a fantastic man for three months. They'd set the ground rules up front: this was about having fun. She wasn't sure if she was going to stay in the city, and he wasn't sure if he really wanted a serious relationship. Yet they were so happy together that all their friends remarked on it.

Then one of his former lovers came back into his life and was willing to say the words that Emily wasn't: "I love you and want a life with you." When the dust settled, he chose to return to his former flame. The night they split up, Emily finally confessed that she had loved him and just never found the courage to say it. Worst of all, he'd felt exactly the same way.

If they had been able to say, "I love you," back when it mattered, would it have made any difference? I think so. Men need reassurance before they do something as drastic as declare their love for someone. They don't want to frighten you off, either.

Some men are naturally quiet and will happily let you do all the talking in the relationship. It takes skill and patience to create an environment in which he feels comfortable confessing his innermost thoughts. He has to know that you'll listen, not interrupt, and not take anything he says the wrong way.

To help you create that perfect romantic environment, here are 6 of my Top Male Communication Tips:

1. Allow the silence to stretch. It can take some time before the thoughts in his head find their way to his tongue. Allow him time to get the words out.
2. Don't jump to conclusions. A confession of love is not a promise of commitment. If you've been pressuring him to commit, he may not want to tell you he loves you, because he'll worry that you'll take that as a sign that you're virtually engaged.
3. Be careful when you tease. Although men usually enjoy a woman who will bandy words with him, there is a time and a place to be playful. You don't want to wound him inadvertently and discourage him from sharing intimate parts of himself with you again.
4. When in doubt, make eye contact and smile. Your body communicates more than words. Encourage him with positive, affirming body language.
5. Share your feelings about his favorite topic: him. Compliments open the door for more compliments. While you're on the topic of how great he makes you feel, he might just return the favor. (Just don't start talking about your future, as that will make him nervous. Keep your compliments specific to concrete things he did or said that made you feel great.)
6. Keep what he says to you in confidence. Most men are naturally private people. They'd prefer it if you didn't share everything they said with your best female friend, your mother, and your hairdresser. If he tells you that he loves you, keep it to yourself for a while. The best person to tell the world how he feels is him.

Tip #2. Do Your Best All the Time

One thing that men (and women) hate is being taken for granted. Show him that you appreciate him. Don't take his presence in your life for granted. If you find yourself being critical or short with him, then take a step back and ask yourself whether it really matters in the big pictures. If you find yourself no longer making an effort to dress up for him or do the little things that please him, then you may have just given him an unfortunate glimpse of what a life married to you would be like.

One reason that many men give for their reluctance to get married is that they believe that their girlfriends will change when they become wives. They'll stop wearing lingerie to bed, lose interest in sex, and replace spontaneous, wild nights out with boring and predictable evenings in front of the television.

Moving a relationship from the casual stage into marriage takes effort, no doubt. But, sadly, most men and women give up when they're halfway there. They stop making an effort. They get locked into a routine. They stop praising each other in front of strangers. In other words, they start acting like a couple that's been together too long.

You don't have to be lovey-dovey all the time, but you do have to respect, admire, and make an effort for your partner. Even if you don't feel well, avoid the temptation to take it out on him. Our partners all-too-often become convenient punching bags when things go wrong.

When you show him that you are going to be the same woman whether or not you're married or just dating, he can confidently make the decision that he wants to spend the rest of his life with you.

In fact, David Zinczenko has a great one-sentence formula to explain what men want in a long-term relationship:

"Love us like you've known us for years; surprise us like you've known us for days." (Men, Love & Sex p.172)

Tip #3. Excite Him with the Possibilities of the Future

One thing that couples in love do all the time is fantasize about what they will do together someday. Perhaps they'll go on a vacation to some exotic location. Maybe they'll give up their jobs and start up a business of their own. Maybe they'll win the lottery, build their dream house, or simply get every single season of Friends on DVD.

Whatever it is, it doesn't matter. What's important is the sense of a created future.

If a man can imagine being with you in five, ten, or twenty years, then he's training his brain to associate his future with you. I've often heard men say that they realized that they wanted to get married when they couldn't imagine their future without their then-girlfriend.

Help the process along by sharing your goals and dreams with your partner and encouraging him with his. If you've been content with simply going to work each day, coming home, eating dinner and watching television, then make a change starting today. Maybe you'll want to start a fund to buy a house. Maybe you'll want to sign up for salsa dancing classes. Maybe you'll want to sit down with pen and paper and list your goals for your life and concrete steps you can take now to achieve them.

Your own future should be an exciting place that's entirely within the realm of possibility and compatible with what your partner has told you he wants in his life.

Although you can be as specific as you like with your future, avoid planning out his future or both of your futures. If you make plans for the both of you too far in advance, he may feel pressured into a commitment that he's not ready for. Even worse, if you talk about how important it is that he study for that high-paying position to finance your dream home, or where you want to send your unborn children to school, you may scare him off before your hopes have a chance to come true.

Instead, keep any plans for the two of you in the immediate future (such as next week), or allow your imagination free rein to paint a picture of a future that's clearly a dream rather than an expectation.

When your man has the chance to speak his love, knowing that the woman he loves today will still be the same woman ten years after they've married, confident that your futures are going in the same direction, then you may very well discover the softer, mushier, romantic side of your man that he's been trying to keep from the world.

All the best in life and love!

3 Tips to Removing the "No Longer Acceptables"

Many of us say we're going to make changes to eliminate the things we don't like about our life, but few us actually commit to improving the quality of our life. We stay in a job we don't like and in a relationship that does not serve us, and blame our circumstances on the "hand" we've been dealt in life. If you have ever felt like this - it's time to get a dose of reality. Whether you're sick of your financial situation, your health or destructive relationships, you have the power to eliminate the "no longer acceptables" in your life and create the life you want and deserve.

Give up the excuses because they are just plain cop-outs. Creating the life you want simply begins with a choice - you choose to eliminate the "no longer acceptables" in your life. Changing your life circumstances is that easy. You choose your desired reality instead of your current reality, and commit to doing whatever it takes in order to create it.

While some people will live their entire life believing they are bound by their current circumstances, it does not have to be that way for you. There is no written law that says you have to live in fear, unhappiness or depression - in fact, it's quite the opposite. We are created with unlimited potential, but can be falsely led to believe that we are not good enough to have what we really want. Whether you were told you deserved exactly what you got, or picked up bad habits that sabotaged your success - none of that matters. Your life can change the very instant you change your thoughts - right here, right now.

Before you continue reading this, grab a pen and a piece of paper. Make a list of 10 things you want to change in your life. Your list can consist of anything you are unhappy with or downright sick of. Here are some examples:

-Find a nicer apartment
-End an emotionally destructive relationship
-Go back to school and obtain a bachelor, master or PhD degree
-Get a better paying job
-Lose weight
-Be more confident
-Stand up to an abusive boss or manager
-Cut up credit cards and eliminate debt
-Be a better example for my kids
-Spend less time at work and more time with family

Again, these are just examples. Your list can consist of any aspect you find yourself consistently complaining about or cause you pain or hurt. When you have your completed list, take a few moments to think about what you've written. What you wrote down should be from the heart and of raw emotion - because those are the best motivators. How would you feel if you had everything you wrote on the list? Visualize your list as if you have already achieved them. Imagine how good it feels to be in your new apartment, have that better paying job, or end a destructive relationship that causes you pain.

Eliminating those things you find yourself being most unhappy with will allow so much more peace and emotional space. You will feel like a new person when you finally eliminate the things that have been holding you back from what you really want.

Visualization exercises deliver powerful motivation and set the wheels in motion for you -to begin attracting what you really want. It's true that we get exactly what we expect - good and bad. The minute you tell yourself you deserve better, you will start attracting better opportunities and people. What used to be acceptable in your old life will become a "no longer acceptable" in your new life. You will have the confidence to stand up for what you deserve - and that will only be the best.

Instead of settling for an acceptable job, you will only take a great job. Instead of settling for an acceptable relationship, you will demand a great relationship. Instead of settling for an unhealthy lifestyle, you will accept only a healthy lifestyle. What I'm trying to convey here, is that you deserve so much more than you currently have, but it's up to you to do something about it. You can't make improvements until you eliminate the "no longer acceptables" from your life. And you can't improve your quality of life until you demand it.

Here are some practical steps you can take to start eliminating the "no longer acceptables" from your life:

1. Use the Pareto Principle

The Pareto Principle states that 80% of your return should be based on 20% effort. In other words, when correctly applied, 20% of your efforts can produce 80% of the results. Correctly applying this rule saves you time and energy while producing optimal results. What you want to avoid (and this is what most people are trapped in) is apply 80% effort for only a 20% return. This means you are essentially spinning your wheels for very little return or benefit.

Apply this principle to every aspect of your life to evaluate how you're spending your time and energy. You might be surprised to learn how counter-productive your habits have been. If you find that you've been spending 80% effort for only 20% return, make some changes to flip the stats in your favor.

2. Learn to say "No"

You don't have to take every opportunity that comes along, especially if it doesn't serve you. Which would you prefer - an acceptable job or a great job? How about an acceptable relationship or a dream-come-true relationship? Learn to say No to the acceptable opportunities that only deliver a fraction of what you really want and Yes to only the great opportunities that best put you in a position to achieve all of your goals. Remember, you attract only to the level of what you think you deserve. You deserve the best, so start thinking that way!

3. Stay Focused on Your Goals

Always and only think about where you want to be - even if it's not your current reality. The mind is a goal-achieving machine and will create a reality to match your vision - so envision a good one. You have unlimited potential and were created for success - you only have to commit
to staying focused on your goals. There is no law that says you are bound to a reality that makes
you feel unhappy or depressed, but you have to decide and commit to accepting nothing less than your vision in order to create it.

Change isn't always easy, but everything starts with choice. Once you make the choice to improve your quality of life, everything after that is just a series of choices that lead you to the reality you really want. Failure is impossible when you learn that the only difference between your current reality and desired reality is an absence of excuses.

Eliminating the 'no longer acceptables' in your life is incredibly freeing and liberating. Once you create the life you want, you'll wonder how you used to even live the way you did. Choose to let go of those things that are holding you back from achieving true success and make a list of the "no longer acceptables" and start eliminating them one at a time. Once you begin, you'll find it easier to continue because you will finally feel free to create the life you truly want.