Sunday, December 28, 2008

Does Rejection Exist ?

Rejection is an illusion. There's no such thing as failure or rejection.

Let me ask you when you wiped out on your bike, did you feel rejected? Did you take it personally? No! It was simply a result. And it was simply a result you didn't like. So, you got back on the bike and committed yourself to obtaining a better result. You weren't offended that the bike "rejected" you or you experience "failure." You didn't feel "bad" because it was an "experience" and you probably learned from that experience.

"Forget past mistakes. Forget failures. Forget everything
except what you're going to do now and do it." - William James Duran

If someone "rejects" you, and it's seldom personal, just a person making a decision. It could even be a poor decision on their part. If you "fail," it's just a matter of not doing something the way you'd like or the way someone else might like. Most opinions - even your own - are subjective. So, don't let the opinions of others dictate how you think about yourself. Compare yourself only to yourself, and set goals for you and your own fulfillment, not to impress others.

"I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure
is trying to please everybody." - Bill Cosby

A man named Spencer Silver was working to create a super glue or adhesive. After many attempts Mr. Silver developed a new adhesive, but it was really weak instead of super strong. Many of us would have labeled this experience as a "failure" or "rejection" Mr. Silver classified it as a result and stored the data. Then one Sunday four years later, another scientist named Mr. Arthur Fry was singing in the church's choir. He used markers to keep his place in the hymnals, but they kept falling out of the book. Remembering Mr. Silver's, "result" Mr. Fry used some of the super weak adhesive to coat his markers. Success! With the weak adhesive, the markers stayed in place, yet lifted off without damaging the pages. If Mr. Silver had thrown away his "failure" - Post It Notes would not be here today.

If you believe you've failed you may want to ask yourself some questions. What can I learn from this? How does this result help me? Remember each result is just another experience to learn and adjust the bike path. If you don't like your results, change your approach and try for a different result. You might need to fine-tune your skills. Maybe you need to scoot your bike up to the curb when you climb on in order to prevent yourself from falling. Maybe what you need is some help, like a mentor or additional training. Maybe joining a professional organization will give you the contacts and information you need to take that step further. Explore, discover, and research! Find out what you need to do, and repeat, repeat, repeat!

"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." - Thomas A. Edison

What is your definition for rejection? Most people define rejection as not obtaining a goal, examples: "She turned me down for a date." But have you ever decided what your definition of rejection is or how did you develop your term for rejection?

Take a moment and define rejection in a way that supports your life and instantly your life will change. A student of mine, defined rejection has: "I need to start negotiating." Yes, he is in sales.

Once you have created your new definition practice, practice, practice. Remember repetition is the mother of skill.

You were created to succeed. =)